maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
