I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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