In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
