he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
