Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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