Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
