He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize