He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
