I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
