He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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