i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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