11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize