My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
