I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
