Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
