Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i used baking grease as lip gloss
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
