I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
