oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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