i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
