I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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