a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
