Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Randomize
