I'm really into asian looking animals
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
