My sheets look like a crime scene.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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