Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
