Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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