Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
