Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I checked into jail on foursquare
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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