i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
