i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
