For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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