Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
