People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
