the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
