you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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