I want to have your abortion
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
ttyl tear gas
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
