Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
