marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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