she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
