Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
