HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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