My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I'm really busy with my period
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