Dual....:-)
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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