ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
