Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
