: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
40s are totally the cure
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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