I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
