So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
