Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
