i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
